How to argue with your parents

-If you’re a kid or a man child… or women child too – whatever

I always wanted to write an article about how to argue with parents. But this isn’t an article exactly about negotiating terms or conditions like curfew or anything, no it’s just a way to establish domination – lest you be spanked in the process. Although, I’m probably too old for this kind of advice, I figure I might as well provide some insight on the issue since it might be fun and I could provide kids with a crash course in civil disobedience.

In order to get your way and throw your folks off guard, just follow these simple rules:

Bend the Rules: If you’re playing video games in the living room and it’s time for bed and if your parents will tell you to go to bed. Then all you have to do is bring the video game system to your room and play it while sitting on your bed. They just said to go to bed, not go to sleep.

Handling Punishment: So, you’re about to get punished for breaking some rule. No big deal. There are several things you can do about it. If for instance, you broke curfew, then the first thing you can do is to argue that the rule or time wasn’t clear. Second, if that doesn’t work, then you’ll have to discuss the unfairness of the issue. Make sure that you show them that the punishment just doesn’t fit the crime. For heavens sake, it’s in the Constitution… no cruel and unusual punishment (The 8th Amendment).

Get them to negotiate: Some parents are pretty skilled and will know that if they talk it out, they will weaken their position. Sooo, get them to negotiate. Back to the bed time thing, you can always reason that your parent will be awake longer then you will be and therefore you also have a right to stay up late. It could also be that it is necessary that you stay up because of homework or some other logical argument (you just have to be creative about it).

These are probably some of the most solid tips to lawyer yourself out of parental punishment, or at least some of the consequences of it. Overall, it requires tenacity and an undying self-righteousness that you’re right and they are wrong. Although, when it comes to disciplining it might be best to meet half way or even completely, after all raising you isn’t easy, but whatever… That’s for you to decide.

Caution: If you’re parents beat the crap out of you. It’s not my fault.