how to argue in a movie theater

- Tricks of dealing with the movie spoiler

The movie was finally getting good; when all of a sudden, the jerk in the back runs his mouth off and spoils the entire movie!  Now, you have several options.  You can (A) pummel the guy (B) ignore it or (C) Verbally get him to shut his mouth hole.  I don't really know what to say to you if you choose choice (A), but I would recommend that you get the freak out of the movie theater after you do it – lest you need the number of a good criminal defense attorney (as I doubt being an A*& hole in a movie theater counts as a reason for battery).  (B) is the person that does nothing, but I'm more like a choice (C) type of individual.  So, this article will cover a few tricks of dealing with the movie spoiler.  

Overall, there are numerous strategies to deal with a rude movie-goer, but there are a few that are probably the most popular:

-Ask Politely:  Asking the jerk in a nice way to watch his manners is a great way to stop their annoying behavior.  After all, the person may just have been a bit overzealous and didn't realize their actions.  Examples include, "Excuse me, but can you keep it down a little.  Thank you." or "Sorry, I don't mean to be pushy, but can you take the phone call outside?"

-Guilt Trip: Also, you have the option of laying a fat guilt trip on them.  For example, if they are insulting the movie, you simply have to say, "But I really liked that part, it's not that bad is it!?" (With puppy dog eyes). That usually works if you're a cute chick and the annoying person is a dude.  But, if you're a guy then the best thing you can do to lay a guilt trip is to say something straight forward like, "Hey buddy, but don't you know you're ruining the movie for everyone – just look around you."

-Forcefully: This person has finally got on your last nerve and you decide to insult the guy in a forceful way.  But unless you have a gangster like atmosphere to you, this is the most problematic way to verbally handle the movie basher and can lead them to doing option (A) on you or you might just end up in a verbal show down, as the following example will illustrate.  You say, "Hey Azz munch! Shut the FUQ UP!"  They say, "Hell No! You shut the FUQ UP!" You Say, "NO, You Shut the FUQ UP!" They say, "MAKE ME SHUT THE FUQ UP!!!!"  up to infiniti… So, it would be best to opt for another strategy, although it is still a possible one.  

-Self-Esteem Damaging:  One way that you try owning the person is to diss them for ruining the movie.  The best way to do this is to link some negative characteristic of the person to the movie in a tactful or witty kind of way.  For instance, if the person is a girl with an annoying valley girl ditz voice you were watching something with a ditzy valley girl in it, then you could say something like, "Gosh, that annoying girl in the movie sounds just like you!!" or something like that.

Note: The most effective way to probably resurrect a movie experience may actually be to grab a manager or something that works at the theater.  But that would be boring. Besides, you can probably handle it yourself.